I love my friends

I love my friends, they are there for me no matter what.

I have this new friend whom I havent really talked to till now, he is nice, he is the only one who gets my mind of Vincent completely. Thanks Buddy :)

I hate Love

Every fucking thing reminds me of the happiness I had with you.
You just threw me away like I was nothing...
What am I to you?
I feel like all the love I gave you was meaningless



After Justin I gave Love one more chance...my heart was hurting so dear but I let you in because I thought you were different from everyone else... I thought you would love and care about me...

I gave you chances after chances...I let everything slide, because I loved you, but I never got the same treatment... I gave you everything I could ever give one person..

and you tossed it away like it didnt matter to you anymore...

Now im crying..
dying on the inside
heart broken
to the point where I dont know what I should do anymore..

I dont want to live with this live full of Pain...

Love is fucking bull shit.. I ALWAYS LOVE YOU TILL THE VERY END!!!... ITS ALWAYS ALWAYS FUCKING ME IN THE END WHO GETS STOMPED ON...

You can soar with even the smallest jump,
pick your feet off the ground,
bend your knees,
and lift your heart from the earth,
Love is a beautiful thing,
It can strive people to beauty,
it can force people into tears,
For me, love has done both,
sometimes I wished to die,
sometimes I loved to live,
at times like these, when I have no where to go,
feeling lost and betrayed by the one I love the most,
I know its nothing harsh,
I know its nothing serious,
I was just getting better with myself,
till you decided to knock down the pieces.
Everytime while we were both away,
I would get a negitive thought,
I took a deep breath
"I can trust my Vincent"
kiss my locket, and skip away,
coming home,
to find out I gave in to much, I should have held back more?
No, I am glad i didnt do that, that I finally...for once in such a long time...I tried to trust fully again..It may have turned out poorly..but at least I tried...


right? thats all that counts..I can proudly face him, say I may be upset, but at least I tried for you. you may have ruined that on your own, but I have done something I havent done since 11th grade. I thrusted.

I wrote this for you Vincent, we have our tough times, but I will Always, always, love you. Forever and always baby, you know your special to me.

Falling to the damp ground,
Knees bruised and sore,
I look into your eyes,
I see all I can be,
I see all I can hurt,
I raise my hand,
I offer myself to you,
you pull me to my feet,
take me into a warm embrace,
kiss me tenderly,
tell me you love me,
Don't let the sun fall out of your sky,
you say,
the stars will always shine in my eyes for you,
you can soar even with a broken wing,
My love will guide your way,
I'll hold you dear,
pick up your pieces,
show you I can be all you want me to be,
Because your all I want for me.

I hate myself....I want to just end the suffering..to live is to suffer

I wrote a Long heart tearing emotional Post, but I couldnt post it because I was affraid that I would hurt the person I love the most...I just want to stop the pain in my heart....my heart still hurts all the time..and not because of you darling...Because of all my past hurts, I always hurt, im always worried about being more hurt, Im so scared...I even know im going to be hurt again...but why does it have to be by you..?